4 Proven Tips To Use With Your Picky Eater

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If you’re a parent, you’ve probably struggled with your child not wanting to eat at some point. This has been a point of contention in more homes than you think, and it can be very stressful for parents who have no idea what to do. There may be a few reasons your child is refusing to eat, which can range from normal child development to a possible medical issue. At around 18 to 36 months, children begin to develop their sense of autonomy and independence when they start walking and building their vocabulary. One fun word they discover is “no” which can be a nightmare for mom and dad, especially when used by a picky eater.

When dealing with picky eaters, it is crucial that you ensure their food refusal is not due to a medical issue. If they are not eating any foods, losing weight, or if you are concerned about their overall health speak to your healthcare provider immediately. Once you have ruled out any health risks, you can try to find strategies that can help you encourage your child to eat. Our son is a VERY picky eater so we’ve had to be creative in finding ways around this. Here are four (4) tips and tricks we’ve used to help.

1. Prepare Meals With Your Child

Having your child/ren prepare meals with you in the kitchen can be a game changer. Not only are you bonding with them, but including them in meal preparation opens them up to learning so many other skills. Just from reading the recipe, they’re working on:

• reading
• language and communication
• counting and measurement
• following instructions
• social skills

Being in the kitchen also introduces them to new foods they wouldn’t normally try or be interested in. This has been especially great for my son who has autism as he’s able to interact with different food textures which desensitizes him each time he comes in contact with them. Toddlers can improve their fine motor skills as they cut and gather each ingredient. Additionally, they’re learning a life skill they can take with them later.

Another way cooking can help your picky eater is by giving them a chance to choose what meal you prepare together, which can further develop their decision-making skills and independence. When they decide what to make, there’s a slim chance they’ll refuse to eat it or tell you “no”. My son has started eating things he once wouldn’t touch because he was involved in making them, which in our house is sometimes a miracle! Finding options that your child would enjoy making is key. You can even get creative to encourage them to eat by dressing up the finished product with smiley faces and food art. The last (and probably the best) benefit of your child helping you cook; they’ll have fun!!

2. Shaping

Shaping is a great strategy to use with picky eaters. We use it quite often in ABA to develop new behaviors or skills the client may have a hard time developing or maintaining.

Shaping in layman’s terms is when you reinforce/reward closer approximations to a target behavior until the goal is attained. Each time an approximation is mastered, you move to the next behavior that is closer to the goal and stop reinforcing the previous step. So, you will only reward behaviors that get closer and closer to a behavior you want to teach (ie you’re shaping the behavior).

For example: Target behavior – eating a grape

Approximations (steps):

Starting with the first approximation or step 1, you reinforce the child completing that step. Once step 1 is consistently being completed, you stop reinforcing that step and move to step 2 which will now be the new and closer approximation to the end goal of eating the grape. You continue this process until the child is eating the grape with no prompts or rewards. Remember to always use a HIGHLY PREFERRED item as your reinforcer/reward, this is key!! It has to be something they really want otherwise, they won’t care about eating that grape. 

You can choose steps based on your child’s ability and tolerance. Shaping can be used for many other behaviors but it can do wonders in helping picky eaters!!

3. Follow your child’s lead

Following your child’s lead can sometimes be crucial in helping your picky eater. They usually tell you if something is not working either verbally or through their behavior. Listen and respect what they communicate.

If they refuse a particular item now, don’t worry, you can always try again following your first failed attempt, but forcing a child will never work and may make a particular item even more aversive. “Starving” a child won’t work either. When I say starving I mean telling them they will not eat anything else until they eat what you prepared, hoping they’ll eventually get hungry enough to eat it, especially when there may be other interfering variables such as a sensory issue. Children with special needs have this issue a lot and no matter what tricks you try, they WILL NOT eat a particular item (at least not willingly). 

Try finding alternative food options that offer the same nutritional benefits. Give options and put yourself in their shoes. Would you want someone shoving things down your throat that you absolutely hate?? I don’t think so.

Dealing with picky eaters can be exhausting, but don’t give up. Some children may even grow out of it, but until then, you’ll find working together is far better than working against each other.

4. Trick them

If all three tips above fail…trick them! Give them the foods they will eat but hide veggies and fruits in them. Pureeing fruits and veggies are great in making them undetectable in other foods like spaghetti sauces, soups, meat sauce, and even baked goods like cupcakes and cookies. My son loves mac and cheese and so far we’ve been able to hide sweet potato, carrot, pumpkin, and cucumber purees in it. We’ve hidden humus in grilled cheese sandwiches and used banana and pineapple purees as tea sweeteners. We always try to add a small amount at first and increase as he will pick up on the difference in taste, especially now that he’s a bit older.

You can also supplement their diet with multivitamins. There are many options on the market that you can choose from. There are flavorless liquid options as well as gummies that come in a variety of flavors and shapes.

Outsmarting your little one can make your life a lot easier when you want them to have a balanced meal. Whatever strategy you decide to try, remember it will take time. There will be wins but a lot of the time there will be a lot of trying with little success, so be patient and pivot when you need to. 

Good luck and keep going…you got this!!

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