5 Reasons Building a Community is Crucial
Community parenting is a must.
We’ve all heard the phrase “it takes a village to raise a child” and it’s never rung more true than today. Unfortunately, society has changed drastically over the years, and not in favor of raising a healthy family unity. In an era where “time is money” and everyday life is so hectic, it’s hard raising a family. There is so much to consider. Moreover, with the added mental, physical and financial strain of having children, there is also the pressure to properly equip them to function effectively in a very harsh world while taking care of yourself. Adding a child with a disability to that mix can make or break any parent.
Studies show that parents usually experience more stress than non-parents. Additionally, parents of children with disabilities experience an even higher level of stress, depression and anxiety than parents with typically developing children. To make matters worse, parents of children with disabilities often report that they feel more isolated and unsupported. If not addressed, this can lead to disaster for both the parents and their children. Finding the right support and proper self-care is extremely important but finding your “village” and community is crucial to keeping your sanity while caring for your child and here are five (5) reasons it helps.
- Your Community Will Give You A Sense Of Belonging
No one wants to feel like an outcast. Feeling like no one ‘gets’ you is not fun and you’re left trying to find ways to fit it. Finding your community helps to eliminate this feeling. Your community is often a set of people who usually share the same set of beliefs, interests and struggles which allows each member to bond more easily and freely. You will feel valued and heard which opens you up to offering the same to other members of your community. When there’s a sense of belonging there is also more trust which allows each member to feel safe while connecting through their experiences. It’s very refreshing and cathartic to talk to other parents of children with disabilities as they know, understand and experience some of the same struggles as you. You don’t feel judged and empathy is more forthcoming from all members.
2. Your Community Will Keep You Accountable
One of the advantages of being a part of a community means you will be held accountable. While your members provide you with the support you need, they will also remind of your ‘why’ when you start steering away from a task or a goal and sometimes even your expectations as a parent. Accountablity provides you with the hard truths you need to get back into focus or to analyze a situation through different lenses. Accountability pushes you to realign your motivation and commit finding a suitable outcome. One area this has help me is when I find myself wallowing in self pity. I’m often reminded that I have no time for that, my children need me so I can have a good cry but continue to trek on.
3. Your Community Gives You Purpose
When we have children we often lose ourselves in being parents and nothing else. Your children become your world and you become so entrenched in parenthood that you sometimes feel that’s the only realm you have purpose in. Being part of a community gives you a strong sense of purpose in other areas of your life. When each member contributes in a meaningful way, it adds value to other members which can result in increased growth, connectedness and happiness. Seeing this gives each member purpose as they see themselves as an integral part of that community.
4. You Are Always Learning in Your Community
When you regularly interact with other people, you will always learn something new. Whether it’s a trick to get the kids to bed quicker or a hack that will help make meal prep easier, there is always new information being shared. You’ll also know what strategies to avoid due to someone else’s failed experience. Whatever the case, information is always being shared by members which can sometimes save you a lot of time in the long run.
5. Communities Build Resilience
Being a part of a strong community builds resilience. When you have the support and encouragement of others who genuinely want to see you win, you’ll be able to bounce back from setbacks faster. When you know you have a community that supports you, you’re able to discuss challenges with them with the expectation they will support you through it. Resilience enhances your ability to adapt more easily to changes and deal with adversity more effectively. Again, you should also be a mutual contributor within your community which challenges you to practice what you preach to others.
Building your community is crucial to your well-being. Creating that space to pour out to others while allowing yourself to be poured into can help you get through the harsh realities of life. I currently live in a city and country where I have absolutely no family, so I’m so grateful for having those friends I can vent with. Life is hard enough, don’t make it harder by trying to do it alone.